Six months ago, as I explained better in my previous article, I started working as a Web Developer. To keep it short, I’m not a Web Developer. It took me a while, and a decision not made by me, to understand what this role was doing to me. Indeed, I learned a ton of things that are going to make me better at whatever I pursue from now on. I dedicated a lot of hours and space in my mind to make this opportunity work. Spoiler alert: It did not work out.

Luckily for the past few weeks, I’ve been reading The New Happy newsletter daily, and this has definitely helped me open my heart to the ugly truth. This path was not made for me, either by me. I don’t want to live according to someone else’s plan of who I am supposed to be or what I am supposed to learn.

I want to share this with you (person who decided to read me today) because I was so lost that I was completely blind to see it, and I want you to see it in case you need to as well.

When you have to hide who you are — you suffer.

When you can be who you are — you can feel more joy, build meaningful relationships, and contribute to the world.

But when you are loved for who you are — oh, that’s when you really grow, in ways that you can’t presently imagine.

Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy

I was told so many times that the only path for me to grow and be part of that team was the one they created for me. I refused to acknowledge how that made me feel. I really believed that if I put all of myself into studying every day and every spare moment I had, that would be enough. It was never enough. I was never enough.

Now I know that my body knew something I didn’t. I’m still finding my way through the working world. I know that I need to be in a creative role; I need to bring ideas to life. My soul needs to be in a place where it can shine.

The Case of the Missing Me was originally published in UX Planet on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.